Saturday, January 30, 2010

Linguisticly Inclined

Apparently, there are many more languages in the world than I ever originally thought. OF course, some things are very simple. For example, there are a lot of languages that people speak like English, Spanish, Japanese, Hindi, and Greek. There are known rules for these languages. Yet, There are even more languages than these.

This evening, I was relaxing with a bunch of friends when the boys started talking about some girl drama that one of the boys was having. It seemed that he was in desperate need of saving because there was girl maybe more than one that wanted his undying attention. The boys had come up with code words for the girls such as "the forest." I am a curious person. Therefore, curiosity was eating me. In all honesty, I just enjoying having information and being in the know.

There are also moments when conversations occur with one lock of the eyes. It's intriguing really. I have observed people in groups of people that this eye conversation occurs and it is as though a light glows in their face in that instance. It's probably one of my favorite types of conversations. People who have these conversations generally have some sort of foundation of history between the two of them. I love eye contact.

Girls have some pretty strange conversations. While boys talk in circles, girls seems to converse through giggles and laughs. The best part is that it makes perfect sense. They also play a strange game of fill in the blank where they leave out key words that the other fills in with there brain. I do have a feeling that sometimes we fill in the wrong words for that game.

We mustn't forget body language. Forget all communication by mouth or eye, I feel as though body language might be the best language in all the world. Movement tells a world of stories. I have often told my friend that I cannot translate her facial expressions into English because they do not translate. I just know what they mean and that's that.

I am enthralled by language. I love how they work and how each language has a different way of stating the same things. Communication is imperative. Those who communicate intrigue me. Therefore, I find all of the human population very interesting. If you ever see a girl sitting in a cafe with a chai tea latte watching the people go by, you'll know that is me.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Something of the Questionable

Have you ever felt strongly within your heart that you were supposed to do something that the entire world might consider questionable? Have you ever sat in your room and considered how it might be to try on another person’s shoes for a day or a year? Have you ever pondered what reality is and what it is not? Have you ever decided to do something that was extreme and people generally thought you were crazy?

About a month ago, I acted upon a deep urging that I had within my heart for approximately six months previously. I hesitate to claim that I had God’s leading in this matter in my life. Yet, I cannot put it down to anything else. Personally, I believe that God called me to this extreme. Six months ago, this idea burst upon me rapidly like fireworks being blown in my face. I tried to push it from my face. Yet, the idea burned in my head.

Not only did this decision cause havoc in my own inner being, but it also wreaked chaos in some key relationships in my life. That was difficult. Nonetheless, God has continually reassured me that I am exactly where He wants me. He has used many different people in my life and He has encouraged me through His word. Granted, some may believe the worst of me. I wish that this were not the case, but it is the reality of the consequences of action.

Right about now, I am sure you all just desire that I would cut to the chase and tell you what my action. Frankly, I shaved my head. Let me give you a few seconds to recover from your shock. This action was not out of rebellion nor was it to give anyone pain. I have found, though, that people tend to believe whatever they wish to believe. I give you that freedom. Before you tag me as a future druggy though, let me just remind you I am simply trying to follow the Lover of my Soul to the absolute best of my ability. Perhaps one day I will look back on this decision-to-action as a mistake, so be it. I have noticed that it is a recurring theme that God uses mistakes.

So have you ever jumped from a window at the spur of the moment? Have you ever done something so fantastic that not one person was aware that it even happened? Have you ever walked in the snow in your bare feet? Have you ever considered the impossible as possible?

photo courtesy of

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Anxiety is a state?

Since returning to the United States, I feel as though I have lived my life in a constant state of stress. After discussing my schedule with other college students, I have come to the realization that my schedule is bad but not as bad as it could be. Yet, I feel like Penelope (the chicken that I killed while in the Dominican Republic) with my head all chopped off and my eyes bugging out.

Within this first month of returning to the rigors of college life, I am in the midst of finishing a semester's worth of Spanish papers, a Dominican Republic portfolio, applying to the school of education, applying to multiple summer programs in hopes of a decent paying job that will give me some experience working with different ages. Within all of this, I am trying to get caught up in the friendships that I made before I went to the Dominican Republic. Oh, I must not forget about the new homework that accumulates every day. Hopefully, this does not stress you out when you read this. We do not need any sympathy stressers. Thank you.

Besides being in a constant state of anxiety, I am thoroughly enjoying being back in the U.S. of A. Pizza is a possible option for every day. No longer do I get hissed at all the time nor do I need to worry about how to phrase a question or comment in Spanish. Communication is effortless if I take the time to try to communicate. Another benefit to being back is that I have the opportunity to participate in theater again. Not only am I helping out with the musical that will be performed in a couple of weeks, but I have also received my very own mini-acting part in a play. My life is a balance of happy and stressful things. Right now, the stressful ones are looming very large.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010


Twenty on the twentieth.
I thought I might temporarily bore you, my gentle readers (Charlotte Bronte had something right), with a little list of mine.

1. I am eternally grateful for God’s interaction in my life.
2. The disgruntled moments that I have with my family that truly shows us to be exactly that – family.
3. Friends who have invested their lives in mine.
4. Warm socks on winter days
5. Books that carry me across the world and back.
6. Isaiah 62:1-5
7. Sunshine that glistens in my eye and casts a golden glow upon the world
8. The turn of the ankle in a coquettish way
9. A well-spoken sentence
10. Snowflakes that welcome me to winter by dancing into my eye
11. Proverbs 8
12. Daffodils, bamboo, and red roses that bring delight into the world
13. Plenty of music accompanying the flights and deep dives of my Adventure
14. Bucket Lists that include immeasurable things that are ridiculously crazy but totally worth it
15. A roomful of girlish giggles
16. One Look
17. Capacious words
18. The moment when one feels like both a three year old child and an eighty year old woman
19. That second that separates one from the end of the teen years and the beginning of the twenties.
20. One day at a time for tomorrow will take care of itself.
May God bless you and make his face shine upon you so that you may know how dearly he adores you.

Monday, January 18, 2010

a personal take on the Odyssey

Sing, Wisdom-
Of the pensive woman,
the peculiar, searching out adventure and words
After she spent years buried in novels small and large.
Of all the dreams she dreamt, when she set down her book,
The agony of her soul as she mourned over the pain of others
As they struggled to battle their emotions and dangerous relationships
Yet she found herself incapable of saving them even as she tried
The Unwise – blinded by their revelry and denial
When they took part in unhealthful actions and reckless decisions
And guided by lack of wisdom they were swallowed.
Of all this,
Shout, Perception,

And tell of the woman who learned many things.
Meanwhile, all women have cultured the skills of flirtation-
At least those who care to grab their MRS. Degree in college
Only Barbara still longed for adventures of sea and air.
The wretched Dollar, a strong currency,
And man’s obsession – held her from those dreams
In the backrooms of the banks where numbers refused to add.
Shadows grew long and then short again many times.
The time came for when God took serious hold of the thread.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Entropy and Meat Markets




Boys and Girls. Have you ever noticed the mess that we create for ourselves. Girls chasing boys. Boys chasing girls. All running around in circles trying to catch "the one." Our mating dance is probably one of the most ridiculous of all the creatures within the world. Of course, it happens to be the most intricate and emotionally draining and physically straining dance as well.

In college, we join this giant meat market. Everybody is checking out everybody else. It is incredibly depressing. What am I - only a body that happens to be a female? Please. I cannot help but be a little bit peeved. Every person on this campus and any college campus is much more than they seem. I am one of those goofheads that tend to judge people on first impressions. Therefore, I'm just as bad as some of those pieces of meat.

I always wonder to myself what men think of those women on facebook or on other places that write about how desperate they are to be in a relationship and have a boyfriend. Personally, I understand that desire. Yet, I still cannot believe that they not only publicize it on facebook but also in real life.


Humans are desperate be it for money or for love. We are a desperate race. I do not think that I have ever known a time in life that was without some sort of desperation. In some places, desperation might be a good thing. In love, desperation is never a good idea. Someone once told me that love should not be awakened before its time.

That is an excellent truth.

I know some girls. (what a surprise) You know, love is addicting and so is kissing. This is what I have heard after long periods of listening to the hearts and thoughts of these girls. Once a person begins loving, that person is forever intertwined with their love's life even if the relationship falls through. Love is a risk and often causes pain. Kissing is a whole other problem. A person needs to be careful. Love is dangerous and you could get mono from kissing so be careful. Don't be desperate.

Oh, another pet peeve.

"The One."

It kills me. Girls talk about 'the one.' They dream about their prince charmings. Perhaps I should mention that I don't specifically believe in 'the one' and I tend to take the view that life is more like a book with many endings. Depending on what decisions you make through your book, you have different endings. I'm not searching for 'the one.' I am looking to enjoy school and find more adventures in life so if i happen to run into a 'whoever' - well, that's cool - but I don't intend to focus my life upon that one occurrence.

After all, the somebody who said, "Wedded bliss" must have also said "Ignorance is bliss." I'm guessing he or she was not married. Girls feed themselves these awesome romance books and movies like the Disney Princess where all the romance and love ends with a gorgeous wedding. This has caused a huge epidemic of women who have fallen in love with the idea of love, the idea of marriage, and a big huge elegant wedding. Weddings are the 'happily ever after.' Romance novels and movies always seem to end right before the reality of 'wedded bliss' hits. We have got a bunch of girls with rose colored sunglasses wandering around believing that romance ends in a 'happily ever after.' Weddings are just the beginning of a whole new adventure.



looking for a 'whoever.'


Ranting at the world.


Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Miss Ingla D. R.

1. The roosters who have absolutely no clue when dawn is so they crow at all sorts of awkward hours such as two or four in the morning or three in the afternoon.
2. Open doors of the culture whether it be in their friendship or it be within their houses and how doors and windows hang open.
3. Greeting by a kiss on the cheek which can be a lot less awkward than trying to this strange shuffle of arms trying to figure out who's arms go where. (Of course, old men kisses get awkward)
4. Rice and beans made by mi mami.
5. Seeing my toes in the sunshine everyday and never wearing shoes.
6. The sweet yet aggravatingly challenging sound of another language being spoken to me.
7. Finding my familiar friend Orion in the sky during the night and feeling at home.
8. Sweating through every shirt that I had within moments.
9. Spending hours and hours at a time with absolutely nothing to do but relax on the front porch.
10. Discovering a new culture

The Dominican Republic, I like you.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

The Roll of the Tongue


They are absolutely amazing. Not only do we use them in day to day conversation, but they are used to describe a whole conglomeration of things from aurora to opacity. Words are beautiful in their strength. I have seen people crushed by words and I have seen people positively blossom under the encouragement of words.

Occasionally, upon the learning of a new word, I find myself repeating it to myself and rolling it over my tongue. I feel like a snake who tastes the air and tests the wind. I find words such as 'diaphanous' or 'voluptuous' appealing to repeat numerous times. Perhaps, four syllables are attractive to me.

Words have strength. They carry significance and purport. While in the Dominican Republic, I noticed that my Dominican brother knew the word 'sorry' in English as well as in Spanish. Sometimes to apologize to us for something he would use the word 'sorry' in English but immediately after saying 'sorry' he would say 'lo siento.' It was an odd realization to me because I realized that 'sorry' really meant nothing to him and that is why he always followed it up with the words that meant something to him. Words convey meaning and therefore they should be used with care and wisdom.

I love words. I love their taste and I love how I can divulge innumerable sensational happenings with them in a million different arrangements. Words are simply fascinating.

Friday, January 1, 2010

TO dreaming and inspiration!

I adore the month of January and the first day of the year. Simply because this day and month symbolizes to me a 'new beginning.' This is the time where all the world seems open to one yet again. This is when people endeavor to create and keep New Year's resolutions. It carries the feel of 'anything is possible.'

For Christmas, my aunt gave me a new journal. I love new journals for the same reason that I love the first day of January and the month of January. Perhaps, it is in a book of clean pages just waiting to be filled with my most intimate thoughts and crazy ravings. I found myself stroking the outside cover of the new journal and slowly allowing the pages to purr as I flipped through them quickly. New journals bring new beginnings.

When I see a beginning, I always wonder what will follow. I wonder simple things like will I get a summer internship. I wonder if I will fall in love. I wonder if I will have a crazy adventure that will completely revolutionize the way that I live my life. I cannot help but wonder at the strange things that I will do and that will happen in my life.

A year is a short time. Yet, a lot can happen in a year.

Every year, I try to find a focus for my year. This new year slipped in quietly. In fact, I looked up from the movie that we were watching to realize that we were already fifteen minutes into the year 2010. For a moment, I felt a sad sting of loss for missing "the moment." Yet, the next, I was fine because the movie was inspirational. It encouraged one to dream big and to persevere after that dream. With the encouragement of that movie, I claim this 2010 for dreams.

Dreams are not just found in fate. They must be chased after with perseverance and determination. Therefore, I also claim the verse in the Bible that states through struggle, we gain perseverance. Through perseverance, character. And through character, hope. Hope does not disappoint because it is found in Christ Jesus. No matter what, I think we have nothing to lose and everything to gain from persevering towards our dreams.

Lastly, I find that generosity is imperative in all things. The American culture is extremely selfish. We only help people when it either makes us look good or we don't need whatever it is we are giving. What a selfish way to live! I am going to endeavor to be generous in everything that I have. Everything in life is replaceable except relationships and people. My things are unimportant next to the girl who might wish to borrow my favorite shirt.

This year, I want to help make dreams come true for other people. I am not certain how that will come about, but I'm willing to try.

Persevere through the tough times and chase those crazy dreams.

The best advice ever given to me was "one day at a time" and "don't give up." Allow me to share this with you and hold tight to it.