Tuesday, February 1, 2011

A Pig's Pearls

I will waste my life.

Searching for a new worship song in which to listen, I stumbled upon a song by Misty Edwards entitled “I will waste my life”. My interest was piqued because I was drawn to the word ‘waste.’ This is a word that I associate with trash and things that are not wanted. Confused, I listened to the song.

I will waste my life
I'll be tested and tried
With no regrets inside of me
to find I'm at Your feet
I'll leave my father's house
and I'll leave my mother
I'll leave all I have known
and I'll have no other

I am in love with You
There is no cost
I am in love with You
There is no loss
I am in love with You
I want to take Your name
I am in love with You
I want to cling to You Jesus

Just let me cling to You Jesus
I'll say goodbye to my father my mother
I'll turn my back on every other love and
I'll press on yes I'll press on
More lyrics:

Frankly, I listened to the song many times over trying to completely grasp the meaning of the song. What I did hear and understand humbled me beyond measure. That first line gets me every time. I will waste my life. It’s a promise for every future moment. This line goes directly against everything that I have been taught. I’m sure most parents will point different people out to their kids with “kids, don’t waste your life like he or she did. Life is a gift. Don’t waste it!”

Generally, waste meant that you were unsuccessful and you had been a deviant from society.

Since discovering this song, I have been carefully considering what it means to me. This thought and wondering has been bouncing about in my head. The other day, a friend had me read a blogpost written by a Katie in Uganda who has, in essence, adopted 14 children. Although eloquently written straight from the heart, a simple message emerged. Through Katie’s many words, I heard the phrase loud and clear “I will waste my life.” By the ideas of many, Katie has wasted her dreams and her life by caring for 14 nobody-orphans.

Sitting in my warm apartment in the middle of a harsh North American winter, I am left humbled. From the very deepest cord of my heart, a note resonates. It harmonizes with the line “I will waste my life.” My heart desires to play that melody.

“A woman came to him with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, which she poured on his head as he was reclining at the table.

When the disciples saw this, they were indignant. “Why this waste?” they asked. “This perfume could have been sold at a high price and the money given to the poor.”

Matthew 26:7-9 (New International Version, ©2010)

In the eyes of even the disciples, the men closest to Jesus, the woman wasted the expensive perfume. She poured out the perfume before Jesus for his pleasure only. All who saw considered it waste. Sometimes our best offerings to Jesus will seem like waste to everyone else.

Am I willing to throw away the most precious thing to me? Am I willing to disappoint all the people around me to please an Invisible God? Am I willing to squander my life by Christian and Secular standards alike?

Am I willing to waste my life?