Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Charlotte's Web: A Judge's Perspective

This past year, my Milton gained the position of being the county fair coordinator. He came home from a chat with the mayor and said to me, “Mrs. Betty Earl, your husband has just been chosen to be the county fair coordinator!” I looked at him with complete shock. My Milton chosen to be fair coordinator! It was such an honor!

The county fair is a special place for me and Milton. As children, we frolicked between the pig pens and the chicken coops. As teenagers, we rode the ferris wheel and looked into each other’s eyes. During the fireworks, I would demurely curl up by Milton’s side and he would drape his strong arm around me. We perused the animals together and we even competed against each other in some animal showings. When I got old enough, I began entering my pies in the county fair baked good competition. One year, my pies failed miserably. I was devastated. That was the year that my Milton asked me to marry him. It was dusk and we were on top of the ferris wheel. It wasn’t conventional, but it was beautiful. Now, we’re happily married. (No children yet – I still have my lovely figure, but one of these days…)

This year at the county fair, Milton is keeping things all organized and I have been given the role of pig judging. Of course, I know everything there is to know about pigs since I grew up on a farm. Yet, perhaps I am not the best judge, but I can make a mean Christmas ham. I’m particularly fond of the blue sash that I get to wear draped across my favorite white blouse and navy blue skirt. Don’t you worry, Milton and I shall most definitely get our annual ride on the ferris wheel and I still will curl up under his arm during the fireworks.

Oh, by golly! An odd thing happened this year. I’ve consulted past judges. They agree with me. This occurrence is entirely new to this year. While the panel of judges and I were analyzing the pigs, we came to a certain ‘Zuckerman’s Pig.’ Other than being the cleanest pig that I had ever seen and being on a bit of the small side, this pig was not altogether interesting. I would not have looked twice except that I had seen pictures of the pig in the town’s paper. This was the ‘some pig’ that was considered ‘terrific’ and ‘radiant.’ Although the pig was not exceptional, there was something about him.

We gave the blue ribbon to the largest pig. Yet, we did not forget the ‘Zuckerman’s Pig.’ I talked to Milton about this miraculous animal. The town was abuzz about the pig. Milton used his coordinating skills and he coaxed the Mayor into creating a special award for this ‘humble’ pig. Yes, sir. My Milton and I were behind that special award to the Zuckerman pig.