Sunday, January 2, 2011

Bathroom Publicity

A public bathroom is either a place of relief or disgust depending on one’s viewpoint. If one has been crossing their legs for seemingly hours in hopes to make it to the nearest bathroom and preserve the splendor of their pants, a public outhouse consisting of a hole in the ground would be sweet relief. And yet, if one has an intense dislike of public facilities, every way will be endeavored to avoid the use of the public restroom. Of course, we mustn’t forget those who have an impish amusement about them while using these oh-so-public bathrooms. No matter what your perspective, a public bathroom offers a world of adventure where most everyone exits conqueror and survivor.

To those who use the public restroom solely out of intense necessity, the experience is generally rejuvenating and refreshing. In utter panic, one rushes into the bathroom and without a second glance dashes into the nearest stall. Oblivious to surroundings and others, this person finally untwists their legs, does their business, washes their hands as is the common social norm, possibly primps momentarily, and leaves the restroom in a cloud of relaxed euphoria. Now, they can progress in their shopping, traveling, working, etc.

To those who find the public restroom to be a nightmarish and terrifying place, the moments spent in this germ infested facility feel like long hours. Upon entrance into this public bathroom, the need to pee or poop has fled them. In a relieved state, they exit only to return momentarily when they find that their previous need has resurfaced immediately. This person scans the surroundings and awkwardly nods at anyone who happens to be inside the bathroom. Once in the stall farthest away from people but one over from the wall, this person coats the toilet seat in layers upon layers of thin toilet paper. Their frantic sanitary efforts are for not since this person won’t even deign to place their bum on this common public toilet. Then with an apologetic air, they relieve themselves trying to not make a sound but failing miserably. The flushing of the toilet fairly makes this person leap up in terror as the public monstrosity of a toilet tries to eat them. Rushing to the sink, they scrub their hands and only breathe easily as they exit the public facilities.

To those who have impish delight in the use of public restrooms, the time spent in the bathroom although for a specific purpose is found rather amusing. These are the kind of people who could probably coax a laugh from the angriest of poops. They have no problem with the intimacy of a public restroom. When those in their neighboring stalls are peeing in a simultaneous melody and harmony, they join in the bathroom music with vigor. Instead of waiting for a neighboring toilet to flush so the passing of gas can be masked in the roar of the toilet, this person will most likely defiantly fart as loudly as possible in the pure silence of the restroom and act like nothing out of the ordinary has happened. Of course, they are most likely secretly desiring to hear a laugh escape their neighbor. This imp most assuredly leaves the public bathroom with a smirk plastered on his or her face.

A public bathroom is a strange place since it combines something as intimate as the relieving of one’s self with the thought of others all doing that same action together. Public bathrooms, restrooms, and toilets are very important in our society. Yet, rarely do they ever show up in movies or in books. It’s just taken for granted that people use these things. Oh, we know that they are used because we’ve got terms such as ‘bathroom humor’ and ‘potty mouth.’ Bathrooms are one of those awkward things that everyone has but tries to ignore - so common place that it’s forgettable except when you need to use it.